As I mourn the loss of my own self, my heart cries. You feel me? Or am I the only one being so numb? So numb that I can’t even feel myself nor you. I have been hearing a lot about self love, self respect, self assurance, and what not? Do you hear them too? Can you tell me if they even exist or not? I even heard people calling them as our lifetime friends. But true friends never leave, right? May be they are sitting somewhere in the corner with a glimmer of hope that one day I will be able to recognize their value, welcome them, and never let them go again. If so, I hope not to let you down, my friends, as they say. But will you forgive me for being so late to welcome you in my life? I hope you are not in the fear of losing your entity. Tell me, you won’t leave me once I warmly welcome you in my life. Tell me, you will be my best friend for the rest of my life. Tell me, you have faith in me that I will always make you my first priority. Tell me everything I wanna hear from you. Will you?
They say we should be the moon in someone’s life, but I don’t want you to be the moon. Moon keeps changing it’s shape, but I don’t want you to change. Why don’t you rather be a star?
As I slowly closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I saw you. Right now, I am in two minds whether or not was I in agony or anger or could possibly be in ecstasy either. But I can indubitably tell you that I saw you. I don’t know how you looked, I didn’t realize that. But, yeah, I saw you.
Already being informed about the menstruation & things to be done after I had my first period by my mom, a 13 y/o girl in me, alone at home, when found out blood emanating from her vadge, didn’t panic. I post-haste felt like I grew up, a strange feeling of pride & ecstasy got knotted in my heart. But hard on the heels of apprising my mom about it, everything got changed. I was told how God will shortly bestow me for being a girl, but I didn’t know that a bestowal means to live alone in a room, with new severe pain.